who knows where to start.

After a beautiful night of symposium (sans Leah...insert a pout here), I feel refreshed and revived in the intellectual sense. Sitting around and reading and workshopping poetry made me so happy... I glowed a bit inside. I haven't been able to publicly indulge fully in my addiction to poetry for quite awhile, so tonight was something I've been craving subconsciously and needed.

I think symposium helps me gather my wits. I've been a little stressed lately with starting up what will be my life for the next year and with Luz peeing everywhere. I have no clean blankets in my house because she has peed on all of them, including the one I was about to sleep under last night. I also worry that Luz and Pomo will become latchkey kittens, who will grow up to be delinquent, forever climbing my curtains, scratching up my red rainbow couch and peeing everywhere. I've purchased a spray bottle for disciplinary purposes, and I'm slowly growing less apologetic about using it. I first used it to spray Luz away from my Wendy's nuggets and fries and immediately proclaimed how bad I felt about using it. Autumn said, "How will you be a mother?"

And suddenly, I realized that kittens are not plants. I am a mother, in an unconventional sense. And yes, I am overanalyzing the raising of kittens, but it's been a milestone in my understanding of responsibility.

And now I am hungry. Off to make a quesadilla maybe.