Kittens and lovejoy.

I am having two kittens. Here is a picture of them: Argh! I'm so excited!

My allergies have been alive and well the past day. I woke up in the middle of the night with a fountain for a face. One swallow of children's grape-flavored allergy medicine and half-a-bowl of Ramen later, my nose had stopped running and I was dreaming that I was a Hispanic man who was being chased by a village because I was caught holding hands with a white woman. Neat.

Also, this:
Hi, my name is: what? my name is who? my name is chik-a-chik-a-slim shady!

but you can call me: Slim. Or Shady. It'd be accurate to call me both.

Never in my life have I: met Mikhail Gorbachov.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: I'll take Paula Abdul over Mary Murphy anyday.

My high school was: not known for academic excellence. I'll leave it at that.

When I’m nervous: I blow shit up. Literally. No really.

The last song I listened to was: something super duper (or super junior, for those of you who catch my drift, ifyouknowwhatimean), I'm sure. And not ridiculous Asian pop. Psssh.

If I were to get married right now it would be to:

My hair is: big. Big and lovely.

When I was 4: I liked to pretend that I was smoking. I also thought I would be a nurse when I grew up. HAHA.

Last Christmas: may or may not have been spent in a snowy pair-a-dice.

I should be: probably not doing this.

When I look down I see: my legs. Or what would have been my legs had I not lost them in a freak shark feeding accident.

The happiest recent event was: the arrival of my prosthetic legs. And kittens!

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ : if I were unoriginal, I'd say "Rachel" because our names are both Rachel and we are both unabashedly fashionable. But since I'm original and cross gender boundaries, I'll go with "Chandler" because if he were real and I rolled with upper middle-class white people who are never seen actually working and whose bigger problems were things like eating or not eating the neighbor's pies, I think he and I would get along real well.

By this time next year: I'll be kicking ass and taking names. In no particular order.

My current gripe is: that I am hot and sweating right now.

I have a hard time understanding: people who are stupid. And how Bill O'Reilly continues to function amidst the roar of cognitive dissonance that should be occuring in his psyche.

There's these girls: who dance like strippers and call it feminism, which probably isn't feminism if I had any kind of say in these things.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: probably the person who helped me get there.

I want to buy: area rugs. And food. I'm wasting away feasting on condiments and pickles.

Where do you plan to visit: Justin Timberlake's hairline because it's so interesting and wavy.
If you spent the night at my house: you would love my red rainbow couch. You would dream of ponies and unicorns and Harry Potter, if that were your kind of thing.

The world could do without: nuclear weapons. Weapons in general. And things like cocaine and heroin and crack. And poverty. And Bill O'Reilly.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: A coconut latte that didn't taste like coconut.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: A meal. Wow. I am POOR.

My middle name is: Tajalli Ronquillo.

In the morning I: am never awake.

Last night I was: I couldn't even get an answer. I tried to call but my pride wouldn't let me dial and I'm sitting here with this blank expression, and the way I feel, I wanna curl up like a child. That what I was last night.

There’s this guy I know who: burps where you fart and farts where you burp.

If I was an animal I’d be a: cat.

A better name for me would be: Kitana. Because I like kitanas (despite my firm belief in doing away with all weapons) and I like fighting video games, especially ones with girls named Kitana.

Tomorrow I am: roaring like the woman I am.

Tonight I am: still roaring.

My birthday is: the day the Titanic sank, drowning Rose and stranding Jack on a door in the middle of the freezing Atlantic Ocean.

If I could describe myself in five words they would be: outrageous, courageous, poetic, irreverent, lovely.

Im in love with: the world, and also my manfriend, Mario.

My worst habit is: sloth. The money is in all the 7 deadly sins, except that one.

I dislike: not going to the beach in so long.

My favorite tv show is: let's not discuss this. It'd just embarass everyone involved.

I like to: do some reading, some coffee drinking, some flying, some errand running, some fine dining, some watching television with enjoyable company, some going to movies solo, some Yo Yo Girl Cop.

I'm looking forward to: the day when a movie that rivals YoYo Girl Cop hits Blockbusters everywhere.